Wishful Pain / Painful Wish

emotion leads to mental leads to physical

if i had a wish...i wish not to feel but to rationalize...

heck...i rationalize too fcukin much that i feel too fcukin much...

i wish that i could fcukin remove this emotional scars ; i swear i'll be a happier person...i wouldnt have been these mean...maybe not to others but at least to myself, some may think i was mean to them...well, it was me bein mean to myself...

rationalize so freakin much, that its always better for them but not thee...

i wish i had a magic knife to cut this emotional pain...

fcuk this ; i ter emo ... and u are to blame for ur own doings, as it was a chain reaction...of what you have done...unable to blame no one...

i dunno how much i can handle till one day i pop an artery...fcuk...i was rejected for the 27 Club..i'm greatful for what...to go thru this agin and again n again,,,and a few more in the coming years....

if it does not kill u it makes u stronger...didnt You ; God ...hear me... take this pain, take this emotion...cos it just fcuks u up...makes u weak...weak...fcukin weak..

this is bullshiet, God...is this how You feel?

Is this a fun filled revenge for my doings?

Painful...if i wasnt human, i would say NO...